Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize