part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
