Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
