i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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