You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
