I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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