you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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