But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
