I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
