thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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