So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
