someone threw a dead crab at me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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