I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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