At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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