About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
