Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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