I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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