I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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