So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
