I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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