I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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