I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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