I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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