I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
