my mouth tastes like poor choices
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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