I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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