just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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