What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
