Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
