apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
