just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
