I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
