I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
