Moan for me like Helen Keller
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
