my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
