I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
