i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
