yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
