Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
