I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
