that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
