Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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