1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
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