Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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