What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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