I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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