Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
