so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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