Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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