Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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