You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
