Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize