So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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