im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
