So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
