i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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