thus making me awesome and them whores
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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