My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize