I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
God, I missed his penis.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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