Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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