And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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