I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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