Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He shit in the fireplace
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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