Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
